Howling at a non-existent moon

My urgings have been all over the place of late. Could be the fact that my hormones seem to be raging out of control. Or the fact that my unstructured days have left me feeling out of sorts. Hard to pin these emotions down. My mamaw is in the hospital and some days I have the urge to cry as I watch her drift in and out of this lifetime and days long gone. Hospitals seriously do not tend to help one shake the heebie jeebies. But, I have to say I am always amazed at the true care givers of this world. The nurses who after a 24/7 shift are still going strong. My grandmother, who is now being nurtured, has always been the nurturer. And, even though most days she is waving her hands around in the air swatting at some imaginary bug, she wants to make sure I am fed. I tell her I am good and that she needs to eat her own dinner. When I leave the hospital I remind myself life is short. The lesson never sticks. And I don't know why. The world is full of people far less fortunate than myself. And, that hospital is full of them. Poor souls left to fend an entire day alone in a hospital without anyone to make sure they get the correct pills or that they eat. My grandmother, although not coherent, has round the clock caretakers. Without that she would no doubt fall flat on the floor as she tries to escape to drive her non-existent car to a house she has not lived in for 10 years. When my caretaker shift is over I am usually speed walking to the elevator to escape, but I really do have the urge to make sure all those poor souls without family are OK. Maybe, like the grandmother whose birthday I share, I have a little nurturing in me.