Moral Dilemma

Hmmm. Two posts in one day for me. Must have really gotten the urge. So, here's why. I was shopping at my favorite HEB this afternoon. I used the automated scanners (I just love the scanner--it reminds me of when I wanted to be the window washer at the gas station. Sure my parents would have been proud.) At any rate, got all the items checked out and back in my cart proceeding to aisle K in the parking lot. Loaded all my groceries and then picked up my purse from the top of the cart to discover my sister's birthday card. The word BLISS staring back at me. This card I had not paid for. I got in the car and sat that staring at the word BLISS pondering what to do. Did I want to walk all the way back to the store to pay $3.99 for the card. Or just consider this a gift from the universe. Like when you find a penny in the parking lot. What would you do? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Katrina

Just returning from a visit to New Orleans. A college friend turned 50--thankfully, I am still a year behind her. Although, all of my college friends look exactly the same to me. Is that viewing through rose-colored glasses? If so, bring on more of those glasses. It has been two years since I drove down the streets of the Big Easy--which were still very much showing signs of Katrina. This was the first time I had walked through my friend's house with furniture and paint. The last time the house was a mere shell--having been completely gutted. It was a reminder that while the outside world goes on, for the residents of New Orleans life is very different. Many of my friends suffer a variety of physical and mental ailments. The trauma of losing their most personal belongings, being uprooted from homes, schools and work for months takes a toll. Having grown up in a military family I am well aware what war does to one's psyche. Katrina was definitely New Orleans 9/11 and every war rolled into one. I do not write this though to elicit pity, but rather awe. The city may never be the same--there are blocks of empty buildings rotting, providing blank canvas for graffiti. But for my friends who have lived here all of their lives they soldier on. Material things have lost their importance having been replaced by what is truly most valuable in life. Family, friends and loved ones. New thought teaches and reminds us to be a light in the world. To shine brightly through our words and actions. Katrina may have changed the physical landscape of New Orleans, but it certainly did not douse the light. My friends showed me that. Happy new year and keep burning brightly.

Post Christmas

Having not written in quite some time, I find that I do not have a real theme for this post. Christmas was yesterday and today has been about recovery. Cleaning off my office desk, paying bills and taking a collective sigh that 2008 is nearly finished. It has been an interesting year. Leaving a job, starting a new company, watching a hurricane ravage our beloved coast, enduring a presidential election and watching the economy take a nose dive all have made for an eventful year. Oh--and getting engaged somewhere in between. I don't want to start making predictions for 2009 or resolutions. But, having spent some time with some folks at Schipul Marketing--the real social marketing gurus of Houston, recently--I do promise to tend to this blog. Here's why. While, I relish the thought that Oprah or some influential news source might find me pithy enough to publish, I love to write. It is a bit of a cathartic experience and sometimes I actually have things of interest to say. And, my personal brand could use a jumpstart. I tell my clients how to keep themselves top-of-mind with constituents, but rarely take my own advice. So, first resolution for 2009--listen to my own good advice. There are challenges ahead--we know that because the media reminds us daily. But, challenges do shake us up and often for the better. Like most of you, my retirement account is not looking so hot at the moment. But, as a roadside sign I saw once while traveling through Bastrop, La. said: you can not stumble over the things you put behind you. That is true. So while listening to my own advice I vow not to turn around and wonder what happened back there. Lastly, I am going to steal a mantra I read in SELF Magazine from a young woman undergoing a traumatic surgery. How hard can it be? How long can it take? I like that one a lot and hope that I can put it to good use. 2008 isn't even over and I am 3 good resolutions into 2009. It is going to be a good year.

Hurricane Ike

No doubt there will be many a post about what Hurricane Ike brought the gulf coast. As a resident of Houston, we have watched our neighbors, friends and families endure Katrina, Rita, and Gustav. The tides turned and unfortunately brought Ike right to our door step. The past few days have been a blur of boarding up and preparing; riding out the storm and watching as those to the south of us lost homes, lives and belongings. It is sad beyond any mere words can adequately express to see our seashore town of Galveston blown away. I did not grow up here. As a military child, my family moved many times across the U.S. But, we were stationed twice in El Paso and vacationed one summer in Galveston. There was a sea shell shop on the sea wall where my parents bought us sea shells. My mother still has some of those shells. As an adult who relished strolling down the sea wall and wading on the sandy shore, I recall fondly that trip to the sea shell shop. Those memories can not be washed away by a storm. Oddly enough I had hoped to spend a weekend soon in Galveston. Galveston has always provided solace for me. And, I know for many, many others. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore. Watching the sea gulls. It would be easy to curse that sea, but that would not return the material parts of Galveston. Instead, my heart and prayers turn to those who have lost their sea treasures, knowing that one day soon Galveston will be restored. And another child will be drawn to its shores in search of shells. Last night, and again this morning, mother nature presented a very different landscape. A sunset awash with colors and a brilliant full moon. Cooler temperatures and a clear blue sky. Perhaps that is easier to see for those of us who only have the inconvenience of no electricity and yard clean-up. A bit more difficult for those who have endured the brunt of Ike. Or maybe not. For those that love the sea are a hardy bunch indeed. This mere visitor to your shore is grateful for every seaside stroll. And wishes you all God-speed as you awaken today to start anew. Perhaps infused with the enthusiasm that drew you to the shore for the very first time. We mourn with you for your loss. And pray that recovery is swift. And, most importantly, hope that your venerable spirit has not been dampened by Ike.

Living like the Dalai Lama

My fiance loves to use a quote he heard when we had the chance to hear the Dalai Lamahttp://www.dalailama.com/ speak a year ago at Rice University. Someone in the packed lecture hall asked him (the Dalai Lama, not my fiance) what was the secret of happiness? His reply: be happy. Our purpose as human beings is to be happy. He gave a similar answer when prodded to spill the beans on world peace. In other words, get along.

Hmmmm. Can it be that simple?

My fiance has built a business on the basics. Me, I believe in the basics, but always make things more complicated.

But, I think both the Dalai Lama and my fiance are on to something.

In this case, happiness probably starts with just being happy. Accepting that it is my responsibility to just be happy. Now, I realize, you are probably a bit like me. Things happen to us in the course of a day that derail our good intentions. In my case, spending 30 hours of my last work week, on the phone with an Internet provider, which disconnected all of my service when performing a simple account transfer, has driven me and everyone around me nearly crazy. I have spent hour after hour spewing about this company until finally my mother reminded me how crazy I had become. It was one of those aha--I could have had a V-8 moments. What was I doing? Besides giving myself a headache and backache, absolutely nothing. My negativity certainly did nothing to help the situation. And, as frustrating as it can be to deal with a huge company that does not care whether it actually solves your problem, I needed to take a breath.

Life is short. And, I doubt it is comforting for God to see me and you discontented. I am not suggesting a pie in the sky, rose-colored glasses approach. But, I am going to do my best to get up with a smile and end the day with a word of thanks. Even if I have to fake it until I make it.

I think the Dalai Lama and my fiance would agree that is a good first start.

Howling at a non-existent moon

My urgings have been all over the place of late. Could be the fact that my hormones seem to be raging out of control. Or the fact that my unstructured days have left me feeling out of sorts. Hard to pin these emotions down. My mamaw is in the hospital and some days I have the urge to cry as I watch her drift in and out of this lifetime and days long gone. Hospitals seriously do not tend to help one shake the heebie jeebies. But, I have to say I am always amazed at the true care givers of this world. The nurses who after a 24/7 shift are still going strong. My grandmother, who is now being nurtured, has always been the nurturer. And, even though most days she is waving her hands around in the air swatting at some imaginary bug, she wants to make sure I am fed. I tell her I am good and that she needs to eat her own dinner. When I leave the hospital I remind myself life is short. The lesson never sticks. And I don't know why. The world is full of people far less fortunate than myself. And, that hospital is full of them. Poor souls left to fend an entire day alone in a hospital without anyone to make sure they get the correct pills or that they eat. My grandmother, although not coherent, has round the clock caretakers. Without that she would no doubt fall flat on the floor as she tries to escape to drive her non-existent car to a house she has not lived in for 10 years. When my caretaker shift is over I am usually speed walking to the elevator to escape, but I really do have the urge to make sure all those poor souls without family are OK. Maybe, like the grandmother whose birthday I share, I have a little nurturing in me.

A smoothie with a message

I started this blog and called it "Urgings" because of a visit I had with a friend's father that passed away the day after my visit. And, because I believe we all have urgings/callings/messages that sometimes we listen to and sometimes we don't. That little voice nagging at us to do something.

Yesterday mine was to stop taking on work or projects that were not fulfilling. Or that I just did not want to do.

Now--like most things in life that is a great thought. Just do what really resonates with me personally. The flip side is my mortgage company might not understand that I was not called to go to work and hence could not pay my bills.

So--granted there is a balance in life. Yesterday, over a smoothie at Starbuck's, I had the opportunity to visit with a woman that I have known for years. But, never really spoken with. Meaning--yesterday we just connected on a very spiritual level. And, of course, she had a really good message for me. No doubt the reason for consuming 270 calories with a chocolate, banana smoothie. The conversation was worth every delicious calorie.

She offered me a different view on taking on jobs that certainly are not paying me what I should be billing. That perhaps the project was a way of giving back to a universe which does continue to give abundance. I like that. I took on the project because I believe in the organizational mission and purpose. And, rather than begrudge it because it does not pay enough, I will gladly be thankful for it.

We have all seen, read and sometimes absorbed the idea that there is power in positive thinking. And, that the more we say thank you or recognize that in every day we have something to be grateful for how much better off we and our world would be.

So, thanks to a Starbuck's reunion--my smoothie came with a powerful reminder. When the urge strikes to begrudge, instead be grateful.

Old people have feelings, too

Several days ago the thought crossed my mind how crazy it is that a magazine was paying $2 million for the photos of celebrity twins. How outrageous is that. The economies of scale in our world are so out of whack.

I decided that someone should be paying that for a picture of my nearly 94-year old grandmother's smiling face. Now, there's a photo worth $2 million.

Some days, my grandmother isn't quite clear who I am and some days she comes up with the most brilliant advice. Real pearls of wisdom--I should definitely be writing down.

It must be hell to get old--I already feel the difference in myself as I gently ease towards late 40s. Think about it. You live your whole life and then when your body turns against you, you don't even get to decide whether you want jello for lunch.

And, as the younger person in the room telling the older person what to do I think it's easy to forget that's a person with feelings. Just because my grandmother is old, doesn't make her feelings less valid. She still has desires just like the rest of us. Although, the desire to drive a car or ride a horse probably isn't happening.

I have a friend, who will remain nameless, that used to tell me be nice to everyone. Regardless of who they are--their title--their station in life. And this truly is how she lives her life.

Everyone has a story. We should probably publish more of those and less of the celebrity. Our world could use a little more humanity and a little less vanity.

The urge to scream

Generally, I am sure that it is not appropriate to use this space to rant and rave. But, today, the only urge I have is to do just that.

Perhaps, someone out there has had a similar experience. And, if you have tried to actually reach a human being to handle an urgent matter relating to insurance or bills or whatever the urgent matter may be--you know exactly how I feel.

I am self employed and using COBRA for insurance. So, that I can continue to have that coverage I have made payments for 3 months to a company that can't seem to relay that information properly to AETNA--my health provider. They would cancel me if the payment did not arrive on time. But, they've never taken the steps to insure that I actually have the coverage. And, what really chaps me is that it is impossible to get a human being to help.

So, my question is really pretty simple? Why is that companies who are in the business of working with consumers make an already irate person go through a series of phone prompts to finally be connected with a human that could care less that you have called.

Press 1 if you speak English. Press 2 if you'd like to listen to our elevator music. Press 3 if you would like to rip your hair out. Press 4 if your blood pressure is starting to rise. Press 5 to start over.

It's no wonder we all need self-medicating.

Automation is great when it provides a real service. Automated phone systems with prompts a mile-long do nothing but prompt me to scream.

Service seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur.

Too bad the real urge isn't to provide great customer satisfaction.

Tupperware

This morning I had the strangest urge to clear out some clutter. I know you can relate. It's about 10 years that I have contemplated selling my home and moving to a location which does not require a 2-hour commute. Now, I am engaged and the need to sell my home will at some point become a reality.

But, for the moment, the tupperware cabinet was enough to send me over the edge. I decided that every container without a lid just had to hit the road. But, once I tackled that I moved on to cabinet after cabinet. A wasteland of stuff. The task became too daunting and I packed one cardboard container--of you guessed it--tupperware without lids. And, then shut all the cabinets back up.

The box is of course now sitting in my kitchen and I will have to find a place to store it.

How do we acquire so much stuff????? Seriously, I have a million things with pigs on them.

The real issue is how is that we can't seem to part with this stuff. I believe in the law of attraction--even if I don't practice it daily. That we do need to clear out clutter so that the universe is able to fill us back up--and the clutter is not always in the cabinet. Sometimes, it lives deep within us.

Cleaning closets, cabinets and drawers is cathartic. And a necessary evil for someone thinking of moving.

But, the real challenge is to keep the cobwebs and clutter out of my brain. To let go of negative and restraining thoughts so that my light can shine a little brighter.

Hmmmm--I wonder if Molly Maids is ready for that one.

Paddling Upstream

Did you hear about the two teenage boys who canoed 2,200 miles in Minnesota. They evidently started in the spring at the height of the flood season and one of the teenagers described the experience as running up a down escalator.

Why would anyone want to do such a thing? Well, they were following a course charted in the early 30s'--but one of the main reasons they persisted through food poisoning, mother nature, hunger, etc. was the naysayers. They wanted to prove someone wrong. All the people that said they would never be able to make such a journey.

That's a fairly powerful urge.

How many times have we persisted in something just to discount the naysayers? I was thinking this through while listening to the NPR report. Is proving someone wrong a positive motivator--or simply spite?

Not sure I have a good answer for that one. But, I do applaud the desire to chart new territory. Even if the nudge to get there is as clear as mud.

It's not brain surgery

Networking this a.m. over coffee with a fellow PR professional the topic of control arose. I am in fact a type A overachiever, which has during the course of my professional career presented challenges. Trying to accomplish as much as humanly possible in as little time as possible. I have always stretched myself and encouraged others to relentlessly push the envelope of thinking outside the box. And, for the most part, have accomplished a great deal in my career in return.

But, I was reminded today and hence the urge--of something my father told me a number of years back. This isn't brain surgery. (A comment he made to me while I was lamenting about work.) I thought about calling my father to tell him that not only had I actually listened to his sage wisdom, but that I was also repeating it out loud to a peer. But, the urge was fleeting as I hustled off to the next meeting of the day.

Now, I do think that brain surgery is a serious matter and this is not at all to make light of those that actually work in a life or death profession.

Just had the urge to contemplate why so many of us live our lives as if every moment held such importance? And, in doing so, what did we miss along the way?

Brown Cow

In thinking about a url for this blog it ocurred to me that how now brown cow was fitting. This blog for me is all about things we are called to do. Hence--urgings. And, how now brown cow seems to speak to that.

I have had the desire to assemble a collection of thoughts--about things that speak to us as human beings. Things that we should act upon. And sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. The voice of the cosmic consciousness.

Earlier this year a friend's father was very sick. She had called to tell me he was coming home that weekend to begin hospice care. I got up that Saturday morning with a very strong urging to go and see her father, her and her mother. I was glad I did. Her father died the next morning.

And I wrote a letter to my friend and her mother which I called "Urgings," documenting what I had seen and felt that day.

So, I encourage you and me to listen to these urgings. And if you get the urge--share them.