Personal Contracts

For starters, no, I am not a lawyer, nor do I have a personal relationship with one. So, this is not a ploy to keep lawyers in business, although it might be a way to help unemployed members of Congress.

I have been thinking a lot about expectations. Expectations are feelings that we all share. Everyone has expectations about some area of their life. Whether they relate to jobs, relationships, heart's desires, etc.

And our expectations can lead to a world of trouble. I expect a person to act in one way--their own DNA guides them to act in another. And, if those expectations are never discussed or expressed, we tend to sit and stew and let things get to a breaking point.

In my family, we did not talk a lot about our feelings--although I know we all have them. We sort of stuffed our thoughts until they nagged at us enough that we might pick at each other. But, I can tell you that I am more sensitive than I should be--although a well-guarded secret. Guess the cat's out of the bag, now. The point is, my expectations have always been too high, resulting in a lot of heart ache.

So, to the point. What if we all had personal contracts--a code of conduct for interacting with one another. It would help clarify what we expect from each other and whether we could fulfill our obligation to this person. For instance, I might put in my contract I'd like to talk on the telephone twice a month rather than email. After all, what's a friend for if we never actually speak. May as well send off for a pen pal from Russia.

I am being a bit ridiculous to make a point. The certainties of life besides death and taxes are that we simply do not often know what makes another human being tick. But, we spend a lot of time judging or thinking we know, because we expect them to act in accordance with our own thoughts and desires. I may have a romantic view of the world where the other guy has a more pragmatic view. Doesn't make either of us right or wrong--just different. But, does make for a very different set of expectations. Hence the personal contract. Would make things so much more black and white.

None of us are the same. We look at life through our own set of expectations and react in accordance.

Wouldn't it be so much easier if we were clear about what we expected?

Employers do that all the time. Companies provide a job description and expect the employee to fulfill that obligation. Expectations are clearly spelled out.

Wonder why it is so hard to do that with our personal lives.

I expect that as hard as I try to not have any expectations, my expectations will keep getting me in trouble.

Yep--I expect so.